Because Children Matter

The topic in one of my classes this week is Practice with Children. Therefore, my mind has been on children and the reality that all of us have — or should have — an interest in children being raised well. We are, after all, collectively creating our successors.

I am in Boise this weekend to both visit children, large and small, and to compete with dogs — two of my most favorite things.

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I have visited Boise at least once each month since Galen and Bethany moved here two years ago, determined that Berkeley and then Lincoln would know me. I want to give credit to Galen and Bethany for tolerating my visits, and to Dear Husband who is always willing to manage things at home so I can do this.

Because of my frequent visits, I am in an informed position to say that my daughter-in-law is — or should be — a role model to all other young moms out there.

Galen photo

Galen photo

Bethany is an intentional, thoughtful, and amazing mother to Berkeley and Lincoln. Her parenting skills are stellar, and the understanding of child development she brings to her everyday interactions with those two small humans reminds me constantly of the importance of education to effective parenting.

She parents with wisdom. Instead of arguing with an almost three-year-old, Bethany knows to offer choices.


Bethany creates opportunities for positive and desired behaviors, and avoids setting her children up to have unnecessary meltdowns. There are schedules and boundaries and limits so that each child has the freedom to grow, learn, and just become within spaces that are safe and appropriate for his/her developmental realities.

The children in this little family are managed with love and appropriate limits — inflicting pain through physical “corrections” is not part of Bethany and Galen’s parenting toolkit. I am so grateful for their awareness that using pro-social parenting techniques encourages similar behavior in children.

Galen photo.

Galen photo.

Parenting is not actually a private endeavor — it has implications for ALL of us because we all live with the consequences. Therefore, we need to be intentional and smart with policies and practices to support and educate parents — for the benefit of children, families, and the communities in which they exist.

Bethany and Galen are raising children in ways that maximize the odds Berkeley and Lincoln will make positive contributions to our shared world. They are taking what they appreciate from their own childhood, and appropriately and kindly rejecting what was not done well. As a result, they are embarked on their own wise, loving, smart, intentional — and imperfect — parenting journey.

It is an absolute joy to watch.

A Bit of Randomness from the Internet

I'll bet this is a pup who does not know who his boss is…”

A quote from an online list in response to a question about managing normal puppy behavior.

“…does not know who the boss is…”

Because puppies spend their time, in spite of literally thousands of years evolving to serve and please humans, plotting the takeover of the humans in their lives.

Apparently some people confuse puppies with cats.

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Thoughts direct actions and feelings.

Thinking one has a devious puppy who needs to be put in her place results in very different feelings and actions than considering that the puppy is a furry sweetie doing normal baby puppy things, and just needs some redirection.

I wonder a lot why some people just naturally assume the worst.

If ever there was a being that deserved an assumption of good intentions — it is a dog.

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I hope your day is as amazing as your dog(s).

Channel Change

Is she pregnant or not?

This waiting game is rough.

I am reminded that anticipatory feelings are really not helpful — or reasonable. Why do humans insist on dragging a potential future event’s potential emotional impact into the present?

A dog reminds us how to just stick to the present moment.

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But that is a tough lesson to learn - and relearn.

I imagine hearing Claire is not pregnant and I feel the feels — sadness, disappointment, discouragement — about something that has not happened! Totally unnecessary feelings that crowd out what deserves to be felt and experienced TODAY.

Excellent reminder that THOUGHTS drive feelings. And since thoughts originate in our heads, we get to control what Mental Channel plays in our minds.

Please pass that remote control.

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And put on those super Lucky Socks. That, after all, is really all we can do about this today.