Lesson from the Kitchen Faucet

We have been in the midst of a reconstruction project for 14 months since a failed dishwasher repair caused extensive water damage to the house. Demonstrating that disasters come with opportunity, a kitchen remodel has been underway.

I queried people about what I should consider for my new kitchen and got so many great ideas; my agility coach, Wendy, was the one who told me about a touch faucet. She was spot on because it is life changing. You simply touch the faucet and it turns on — touch again and it turns off.

Who knew?!

After months and months of washing dishes in the bathtub, the new sink and fancy faucet were installed — in the wrong countertops originally, but hey — it was progress (sort of).

The light on the faucet — blue means cold water and it turns red when hot. Fancy!

The light on the faucet — blue means cold water and it turns red when hot. Fancy!

It took me a bit to get used to the faucet but soon I was a pro, touching it on and off like I had invented the thing.

And then — months later (not exaggerating) — the correct countertops were installed.

White countertops vs. black — quite different. Also, Pozy is standing on one of her beds to do this.

White countertops vs. black — quite different. Also, Pozy is standing on one of her beds to do this.

However, the touch feature of the faucet was suddenly not functional.

I knew this — and yet I touched.

Over and over and over.

Touch — nothing.

Touch — nada.

Even after I had used the handle to turn the water on, I would still touch it five seconds later in a vain attempt to shut the water off!

This went on for DAYS and DAYS.

It blew my mind.

The touch feature of the faucet is reinforcing to me in two ways: water flows but it is also fun, especially in the beginning. Those two things — water and fun — combined to create a behavior that was persistent and difficult to stop.

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I did eventually learn to stop touching the faucet but only after days and days of no response. In other words, the faucet eventually extinguished my intrusive touching behavior by ignoring me.

RUDE.

I bet you can see where this is going.

If what we want is persistent and well-established behavior from a dog (or a human), we need to be a touch faucet, providing reliable and consistent reinforcers over time for the specific behaviors we desire. If we can do this, we will get behavior so ingrained and automatic that lack of usual reinforcers won’t matter — the dog, like me, will just keep touching.

Although strongly established behavior is persistent, even during/after periods of no primary reinforcers, for behavior to strongly persist outside my home faucet, I must also have a history of touching other faucets and getting water. I don’t, and so I rarely try to turn on other faucets by touching them.

Think show ring, Friends. The dog needs to touch faucets in other places — successfully — to make sure the behavior doesn’t just happen at home.

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If a faucet can train a human to perform a behavior over and over and over — even in the absence of a reinforcer — just think what a smart human can do with a dog.

But what this also means is if the behavior we want from a dog is not happening, it is a training failure — not a dog failure. We clearly have not been enough like a well-functioning touch faucet.

It really is that simple.

Finally, consider this — if my touch faucet had only worked half the time and/or if it had sometimes shocked/scared me when I touched the wrong place, my touch-the-faucet habit would have been very different and so would my feelings about the faucet.

In fact, I am pretty darn sure I would just use the handle.

Life Without a Kitchen BUT With a Ball

We are approaching eight months of kitchen disruption from the Great Dishwasher Fiasco of 2019, but I am pleased to share that we are nearing (sort of) the end.

The floor is in and I LOVE it.

Sparkle — the countertops will be in her honor.

Sparkle — the countertops will be in her honor.

Suzanne is my paint color selector — the walls are a light gray with the window and door trim two shades darker. Note we painted the ceiling — also a Suzanne decision — and I am SO glad we did. We have a sink but no water or drain or dishwasher yet.

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The countertops will be installed next week. Then plumbing and then lighting and somewhere in there the new dishwasher, which I have not yet selected — I have Dishwasher Trauma, as you can imagine.

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We look forward to having a real kitchen again — someday.

The next photos are a sequence from Claire’s ball-walk yesterday. It goes like this — run and chase the ball, run and chase the ball, repeat…

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Stop occasionally to eat snow and cool off.

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More running after the ball — very effective exercise, by the way. And really — life is too short not to throw the ball…

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And then at the end…

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Ice baths are apparently great for your muscles. I will take her word for it.

Have a Happy and Warm Tuesday!

When To Rat

The past week has had some bumps in the road of life. For example, it turns out the kitchen sink that finally arrived won’t fit in the cabinet. This matters because we cannot have the countertop measured and then made (a process that will take 4 - 6 weeks) until there is an installed sink.

The Sink Saga has been almost comical — a transit snafu and then misunderstandings about the sink has already delayed countertop measuring three different times.

Ugh.

Yesterday, as we learned of yet another episode in the Sink Saga, Dear Husband noted that he was impressed at how well I handle such things. Instead of getting irate and frustrated, I am sanguine about it all.

Nobody intended to create the Sink Saga, after all.

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On the other hand, an IT Person scolds me (unfairly!) in front of my class and I had a meeting with the Head of IT within the day.

Huh.

What is the difference?

I pondered that because pondering is one of my rare talents (or more likely, one of my many annoying habits).

What I decided is that I get fired up about stuff when it has the potential to hurt others if allowed to proceed unchecked.

The only people “injured” by the Sink Saga is us and it is just an inconvenience; that is a situation that calls for patience and the immediate application of Grace.

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But when people behave badly such that it might hurt or disadvantage others — and we say nothing — we are giving them permission to continue on that path.

AND we become complicit through our silence — ACK!

Further, what if the person doesn’t know or understand how their behavior or choice is “landing” on others? Is it kind to just ignore it and let them go on to blunder and dig an even deeper hole?

I do not think so.

In fact, I think it is cowardly and unkind to close our eyes to things just because it is scary to confront them. After all, don’t we all want someone to tell us if we are walking around with our zipper down or spinach in our teeth?

And so I got an apology, which is less important to me than knowing more positive IT interactions are likely going forward.

Change is invited when we respectfully offer our experience and perspectives as information to be considered by others. They can still be an ass or cheater if they want, but at least they will be a more informed ass or cheater — and I won’t be complicit through my silence.

So there you go. Do things that will potentially hurt or disadvantage others and your secret is not safe with me.

Be a human and make a mistake that delays my kitchen — oh well. It Happens…

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…in Life with Dogs, and Life with Humans.