Pandemic Life, Episode Infinity

Pandemic Life is especially wickedly bad because so many of the losses are those we may not consider griefworthy. This means we might be dismissive of these losses, not treating them with the respect and care they deserve — and even adding shame to the emotional burden.

First-year university students talk about the loss of their senior year of high school plus the loss of the “normal” and expected college experiences.

Professionals share how much they miss colleagues and smiles and hugs.

Lincoln and Berkeley are not having normative childhood experiences; Berkeley will tell you it is because of “the germs.

Berkeley and Sparkle Oct 2020.jpg

The upcoming Holidays have the potential to become Family Super Spreader events. Covid is the new Grinch.

I walk through the world saturated by losses these days — my own and others.

I bet you do as well.

It is flipping exhausting.

Knowing the importance of having Hope, I decided to enter Claire in a small obedience-only show. Having something so immediate to look forward to was a well-needed Uplift.

Claire

Claire

And then their Covid precautions came out.

  • Crating allowed inside the building.

  • Spectators discouraged but not prohibited.

  • Masks required but not really — exhibitors and the judge need not wear masks when inside the ring, thereby setting up a peeing section of the swimming pool.

Yes, I understand the plan was approved by the County — in a Red State with surging cases.

I pulled my entries, and in doing so, I pulled away a small bright spot of Hope and more losses rained down on me.

I know enough not to judge myself for feeling grief. It wasn’t just an obedience trial. It was Hope. Something cheery to balance all the losses. A sliver of Normal.

And the politics of Covid stole it from me.

Puppy Life

I have learned to raise puppies from end to beginning — not the other way around.

Pozy and Pete Sept 7.jpg

This means her life exists in the context of her eventual leaving.

Harper and Pozy Sept 7.jpg

Does that seem morbid?

Pozy Sept 7.jpg

It isn’t.

Rather, knowing how this story will end makes me appreciate every single minute with her.

Pozy Sept. 5, 2020.jpg

It means I raise puppies in regret-free ways. I do not want to look back and feel guilty for anything I did or said or was…

Pozy on ramp Sept 2020.jpg

I want the ending to be the completion of a life well-loved, with the only regret being that it wasn’t long enough. I know well that is part of the story that is Pozy Clarkia — it won’t be long enough.

DSC_2304.jpg

I do not waste time being annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, upset — her life is too precious and short for that kind of negativity.

So is yours. Please have a regret-free day.