The Daily Q: The Power of AND

We are about to join some of the rest of you…

From the Missoulian

Someone else is now deciding what services are “essential” in our lives here in Montana. Liquor stores get to stay open, for example, but I cannot get a progesterone test on my dog after today.

Huh.

I support the order!

AND I recognize the additional layer of helplessness and frustration it creates at a time when so many of us are already are running low on Little Soldiers.

Sparkle’s Little Soldier Delivery Service is up and running.

It occurs to me that we would do well to stay focused on the AND. There are so many in all of this and they matter. None of this is all silver lining and opportunity — nor is it all rotten and terrible.

The stay-home order will flatten the curve AND make things tougher.

Staying home is kind of relaxing and nice AND it is driving us nuts.

It is this AND that.

It is especially important to remember the ANDs when you find yourself in one extreme or the other. Yes, all of this is hard and frustrating and unfair AND it is also likely a well-needed pause so you can clean your closets, organize your spices, and/or play cards with your family — remotely, of course.

Family Oh Hell using Zoom.

And so my Dear Friend, Feel the Feels — and don’t forget to look for the AND. None of this is all of anything — there is always an AND.

We got this AND it is temporary.

The Daily Q: Change is Hard

We have all been asked — and in some areas mandated — to make significant changes to everything.

Don’t underestimate how challenging it is to change, and especially when Change is unwanted and carries so many losses.

My Dean inquired how we — the faculty — are doing with the move to remote instruction; this is part of my response to him:

“In addition to blowing up carefully planned schedules, assignments, and classes, Covid-19 is creating a significant emotional burden for all of us. I am using Zoom for my classes and am doing check-ins -- so many students no longer have jobs, many in the undergrad classes had to switch living arrangements, some are expressing how hard it is to be holed up with their family, and so on. By the time check-in is done, I just want to give them all a virtual hug and tell them to go play with a puppy!!

I am teaching Death, Dying, and Grief and that class was already 100% online -- but because we were asked to allow online classes to be completed early I have also had to make significant changes to that course as well. One assignment is something called Death Over Dinner -- a conversation over a meal with friends and/family about end-of-life/death hopes; social distancing blew up that great plan. Instead, we will do it via Zoom in small class groups. In addition, we are now doing a weekly Zoom Session focused on Loss, Grief and Covid-19. I need some puppies myself!!”

Galen and Bethany are under a stay-at-home order in Idaho with two small children. Galen is working remotely. Both Galen and Berkeley are in the high risk group — Galen because of Type 1 Diabetes and Berkeley for her yet unknown health issue. And all I can do is send supportive texts — and a box of toilet paper.

These are strange and hard times.

The necessitated changes are sufficiently tough that we should all be dialing back to give our Little Soldiers a break BUT for many of us, they have to do extra work right now.

Not a great combination — exhausted resources and even more demands.

Do you feel like the rope toy?

Please do not make things worse by imagining there is something wrong with you — it would be a wee bit strange if this upside-down world were NOT causing emotional disruption.

Remember — you are 100% at managing this crazy Covid-19 thing. Go You!

You might feel a bit ragged (I do!) but just keep doing your best to Stay Calm and Sparkle On.

We got this.

Together.

The Daily Q: The Value of Hopes & Dreams

Plans have changed — that is our new reality.

But it doesn’t mean we need to abandon hope.

When my uncle/Godfather was dying of pancreatic cancer, he shared with me that a good pitcher knows when to change up his/her game. He used that analogy to explain to me why he was changing his hopes in the face of new realities.

Uncle Bill stopped hoping and praying for “the miracle” and changed up his game to hoping for a peaceful death.

He got that. Goal achieved.

On my fridge - for perspective.

I had so many plans for this Spring and into the Summer. Covid-19 demanded I change my game.

And so I did.

I picked a different path.

New goals.

New things to hope for — until “normal” resumes.

My game changer: with social distancing guidelines intact, we hope for puppies.

How are you changing up your hopes and dreams?