The past week has had some bumps in the road of life. For example, it turns out the kitchen sink that finally arrived won’t fit in the cabinet. This matters because we cannot have the countertop measured and then made (a process that will take 4 - 6 weeks) until there is an installed sink.
The Sink Saga has been almost comical — a transit snafu and then misunderstandings about the sink has already delayed countertop measuring three different times.
Ugh.
Yesterday, as we learned of yet another episode in the Sink Saga, Dear Husband noted that he was impressed at how well I handle such things. Instead of getting irate and frustrated, I am sanguine about it all.
Nobody intended to create the Sink Saga, after all.
On the other hand, an IT Person scolds me (unfairly!) in front of my class and I had a meeting with the Head of IT within the day.
Huh.
What is the difference?
I pondered that because pondering is one of my rare talents (or more likely, one of my many annoying habits).
What I decided is that I get fired up about stuff when it has the potential to hurt others if allowed to proceed unchecked.
The only people “injured” by the Sink Saga is us and it is just an inconvenience; that is a situation that calls for patience and the immediate application of Grace.
But when people behave badly such that it might hurt or disadvantage others — and we say nothing — we are giving them permission to continue on that path.
AND we become complicit through our silence — ACK!
Further, what if the person doesn’t know or understand how their behavior or choice is “landing” on others? Is it kind to just ignore it and let them go on to blunder and dig an even deeper hole?
I do not think so.
In fact, I think it is cowardly and unkind to close our eyes to things just because it is scary to confront them. After all, don’t we all want someone to tell us if we are walking around with our zipper down or spinach in our teeth?
And so I got an apology, which is less important to me than knowing more positive IT interactions are likely going forward.
Change is invited when we respectfully offer our experience and perspectives as information to be considered by others. They can still be an ass or cheater if they want, but at least they will be a more informed ass or cheater — and I won’t be complicit through my silence.
So there you go. Do things that will potentially hurt or disadvantage others and your secret is not safe with me.
Be a human and make a mistake that delays my kitchen — oh well. It Happens…
…in Life with Dogs, and Life with Humans.
