Filter is Slipping

Sometimes not sleeping enough is good — like today when I need to just dive into a hard topic, and not waste time trying to find the exact perfect words.

The topic is dog trainers.

Brace yourself.

Bright Star Nova

Bright Star Nova

I get it. When I started training my first Berner, I just did what the trainer said — after all, she was the dog trainer. What did I know?

That was wrong.

It turns out I knew a lot — about being kind and ethical and smart in how I train dogs.

But it took me a couple of years to develop the confidence to say, “noends do not justify means.” I still feel proud that I refused to pinch my dog’s ear to teach her to retrieve but I feel shame that I ever fell for the “power steering” argument for using a prong collar.

Shame, however, is not helpful. It can keep us stuck as we desperately defend our behavior, trying hard to manage the cognitive dissonance between what we know is right and doing the wrong thing because someone told us to do it.

Bright Star Capella

Bright Star Capella

Authority is a powerful driver of behavior, responsible for all manner of unfortunate things, large and small. Consider, after all, the Milford Experiment. Good people will do shitty things to other humans — and dogs — when told by an authority to do it.

It has been decades since I read Don’t Shoot the Dog and discovered how to train dogs using the concepts of behavioral theory — something I know quite a bit about because of my professional life.

Moonshadow Buck

Moonshadow Buck

Armed with a clicker and a bunch of treats, I stopped teaching classes at a training center that continued to advocate what I was able to recognize as unnecessary and abusive techniques. I trained my dog — and then the next one and the next one and so on — using ethical, positive, effective training techniques.

It became a mission for me — to show that it is possible to have high achieving performance dogs without scaring or hurting them.

Zoey. Great-grandmother of the Bright Stars.

Zoey. Great-grandmother of the Bright Stars.

When Zoey died — and let me tell you that even after three years, writing that still brings the tears — I had no regrets about her training. I gave her the life she deserved — every single day. That means more than anything to me. Ends NEVER justify means in my book.

I walked out of an obedience seminar two years ago when the very successful trainer started showing humans how to abuse their dogs. Would she call it abuse? Of course not. But here is the criteria — try that technique on a human. If it would land you in jail on an assault charge, maybe it is not a good strategy for a dog either.

Officer, it was just a bop on the nose!”

Moonshadows Titan and Hmmmm…

Moonshadows Titan and Hmmmm…

As I get ready to send these small lives into the world, I am terrified of what awaits them — things that I cannot control once they leave.

Like dog trainers.

Bright Star Mirak

Bright Star Mirak

Let me help you be smarter than I was when I started.

If the trainer says she is a balanced trainer, walk out. That is current code for I will pet/praise AND use techniques your dog prefers to avoid.

If the trainer doesn’t use food in training, walk out. Failing to use a primary reinforcer is a clue you are in the presence of someone who will use techniques your dog prefers to avoid. Before you leave, ask them if they expect a paycheck or if it is enough that people say they are doing a good job.

If the trainer says anything about dominance or a puppy trying to be the boss of you — a puppy who is LITERALLY 100% dependent on you — don’t let the door slam on the dog’s tail as you walk out.

If the trainer wants you to use a prong collar or choke collar (ahem, CHOKE), get thee gone.

A word about shock collars. They call them e-collars now because saying SHOCK collars sounds so — well — cruel. Besides, e-collar sounds kinda high tech and cool — like e-cigarettes and e-bikes.

Sorry did I roll my eyes.jpg

Do e-cigarettes shock smokers? Do e-bikes shock riders? Nope. Can you imagine what would happen to sales if e-cigarettes and e-bikes delivered a shock to users?!

Do e-collars shock dogs? Of course. That is the point. Don’t be e-fooled.

If the trainer mentions Cesar Milan in a flattering way — skip the walking and run.

Moonshadow Andy

Moonshadow Andy

Unfortunately, it can be really hard to figure out whether the trainer is a “walk away” type or a safe one. Here are some ideas to help you sort that out:

Read over these Position Statements of the American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior, including the one on How to Choose a Trainer. When we know better, we do better.

Look for these letters after the trainer’s name: CPDT; this is especially relevant for puppy training and pet manners.

If you want some help discerning whether the trainer is a safe one, feel free to send me info and I will do some research for you.

I offer this website as an example of what to look for in a trainer. How fortunate is Wildflower Buttercup that she lives with that trainer?!

Wildflowers Zeus and Buttercup

Wildflowers Zeus and Buttercup

Trust me: I do not lose sleep over Buttercup — or Zeus, who attends training classes at that center and therefore, is both ethically and kindly trained AND gets to see his sister regularly.

There is no shame in needing to change and grow and learn new ways of doing things. In fact, I see recognizing and embracing the need to evolve and change as laudable.

Have an ethical day.

Evening Photos

Grandma Sparkle with the Bright Stars

Grandma Sparkle with the Bright Stars

Bright Star Sirius

Bright Star Sirius

Bright Stars

Bright Stars

All Ten Bright Stars — one has his leg turned oddly but that is not how he normally is!

All Ten Bright Stars — one has his leg turned oddly but that is not how he normally is!

I imported some snow for them. This is Nova Jr.

I imported some snow for them. This is Nova Jr.

Moonshadow Big T

Moonshadow Big T

Moonshadow Portia

Moonshadow Portia

Moonshadow Neil

Moonshadow Neil

Moonshadow hmmm…

Moonshadow hmmm…

Day Three of 10+10+9 & Me

Daisy and the Moonshadows are easy peasy. Daisy happily sleeps with her puppies at night, keeping them fed and clean (and quiet).

Yep — all ten Moonshadows!

Yep — all ten Moonshadows!

Claire cannot sleep with her puppies because of her knees and the brace — even under supervision those miscreant puppies chew the custom-made brace.

Aunt Pozy is in there — can you find her?

Aunt Pozy is in there — can you find her?

And that explains why I have been up since 3:30 a.m. The Bright Stars wanted their mama — NOW! And someone had an exploding poop situation, and puppies are not especially careful where they walk.

It was a Hot Mess.

Luckily, I am a morning person and so I am pretty unflappable early in the day. If this had happened at 9 pm, the story would be less cheerful, and likely involve bad words and tears.

But at 3:30 am? Not a problem. Clean up was accomplished as puppies nursed — all’s well that ends well.

But who can go back to sleep after all that? Not me.

Sleep 3-12.jpg

The advantage to being with the puppies all day is that I am right here to clean up — without the Night Nanny, this is no longer true at night. Darn it.

That said, even during the day it is difficult to get to the issue needing to be cleaned up with ten puppies trying to attach to your pant leg. It is like trying to walk through puppy quick sand…

Moonshadow fun.

Moonshadow fun.

You detached one puppy and two others lock on in the meantime.

Bright Star Capella

Bright Star Capella

Because I am now a source of food, the puppies cannot be fooled if I try to sneak up on them. They are clever, these puppies, and gang up on me whenever they get the chance.

Bright Star Orion

Bright Star Orion

That is what puppies do — bite, chomp, poop, walk in it, jump on you with poopy paws, chomp, bite, repeat.

Isn’t it just awesome? Seriously. How wonderful and amazing that I get to do this. I can say that — and mean it — because it is still morning.

Bright Star Zaniah

Bright Star Zaniah

Have a magical day.

Evening Photos

Lyra

Lyra

Nova

Nova

I got the Pandemic Puppy Yard set up today. It was too cool for the Moonshadows but the Bright Stars had fun…

outside 3-12.jpg
play 3-12.jpg

Being Adaptable

Night Two of 10+10+9 and Me offered insight about what will be different now that the Night Shift is off on a walkabout/camping adventure: Sleep.

Not more — definitely less.

sleep 3-11.jpg

What is there more of? Laundry.

Big T

Big T

I have accepted these things: 1) I will never be caught up with laundry; and, 2) it is okay if laundry is not folded. After all, we just unfold it anyway.

Raising a litter well forces me to accept things I normally would find unacceptable.

It is not unlike what we should all do in a pandemic — given the increased demands of Pandemic Life, what unacceptable things must we now accept in order to stay afloat?

Bright Star Capella

Bright Star Capella

Looking at a situation realistically, and changing our expectations so we can be okay in a new reality, is being adaptable — an important adulting skill.

Puppies require adaptable humans. People who like things “just so” are not great homes for puppies — or humans, for that matter. A puppy — like Life — is messy.

We all do better when we adapt rather than try to make a puppy, a human, or Life change to meet our needs. Only puppies and small humans get to be that egocentric.

And kittens — they can be egocentric as well.

And kittens — they can be egocentric as well.

And so I sleep less, fold less laundry, and put up with a house that appears to have been ransacked.

I prioritize my own mental/physical health, my job, and the 10+10+9 — not necessarily always in that order but those are the balls I (mostly) keep in the air. I try hard not to stress about the dropped balls — they can be picked up later. Or chewed on.

Moonshadow Andy

Moonshadow Andy

Something as big and demanding as a pandemic — or as small and demanding as a puppy — cannot just be plunked into the middle of our lives with the expectation that all will proceed as normal. That is magical thinking.

And so to those awaiting Moonshadows and Bright Stars — get ready to be especially adaptable.

Star 3-11.jpg

Explore what can be dialed back in order to create space for the needs of a puppy. I assure you — those needs will not always be congruent with your own.

Grandma to the Bright Stars — Sparkle!

Grandma to the Bright Stars — Sparkle!

Also, stock up on band-aids.

The Moonshadows have the play room to themselves from 7 pm to about 7 am, and then the Bright Stars take over. Chaos ensues…

Have a responsible day!

Evening Photo

This sums up the day quite nicely: Wild…

Mountain Goats.jpg