The Daily Q: Pandemic Platitudes!

Welcome to Pandemic Platitudes!

A new game to find the best of the endless stream of Pandemic Platitudes!!

Yesterday’s winner is…

“You are not stuck at home — you are safe at home.”

Wait — what?!

Don’t be fooled by the lack of overt malice, Dear Friends. Platitudes are “you-should-not-feel-as-you-do” scoldings that don’t land well because they are unkind and dismissive.

They are also dangerous.

Maybe being stuck at home is making their suicidal thoughts worse, or they are having a hard time controlling their rages towards their partner or children.

Maybe saying, “I am stuck at home” was just a way to assess your willingness to care, to relate, to listen, to understand. Regardless of intention, platitudes convey the opposite of all those important things.

A platitude is not actually about the person with the hard feelings.

Rather, a platitude is all about the one saying — in code we all understand — you-should-not-feel-like-that-around-me; we shall henceforth call that person the Platituder.

And so if the intention is to scold someone for their feelings — platitude away. If the intention is to convey something like, “begone from my presence, messy feelings” — go Platituder!

But if you want to respond in a kind and supportive way, say something like, “I am sorry” or “It sounds like being home all the time is rough” or “what is making it especially hard to be at home right now?”

That said, if someone asks, “how can I think differently about being stuck at home?” it would be great to say, “what about thinking that you are safe at home instead of stuck at home?”

Remember: An expression of feeling is not a request to fix anything. It is just an expression of feeling. No tools required.

If someone wants an idea for how to think or feel differently, trust that they will ask.

Now we come to the really important part — Are you platituding yourself these days?

The Daily Q: So Much Feeling

Political Historian Heather Cox Richardson offers reasoned, intelligent, and insightful real-time narration of current events on her Facebook page. Her observations from yesterday included this gem:

“If I were looking back at today from the vantage point of a hundred years from now, I would write that the government, whose systems for handling a crisis have been dismantled, is faltering badly as inexperienced officials are trying to respond to a pandemic by relying on the private sector.”

An additional layer of challenge for me in this pandemic is feeling like I am watching an alternative reality. We are told not to be believe what we can see and hear for ourselves. And worse - there are actually people who are/were happy to live in that mirage of disease and death.

Who is missing a screw?

The threat was minimized.

Adequate preparation was not initiated — unless you were one of those politicians who sold off stock because you had the inside scoop this was going to be bad.

This was not a sneak attack.

And what do we do with all that emotion?

How do we respond to people in our social circles when they proudly display their ignorance by posting and saying absurd things. It is no longer eye-rolling ignorance — it is dangerous, malicious, and cruel ignorance.

Poll after poll reflect partisan divide on this pandemic. Republicans were/are less likely to be concerned about the virus — and they have been much slower to adopt safe living practices.

The false prophet is killing off his base.

I care about that.

I care medical staff and first responders who lack protective equipment.

I care about what it means that calls to mental health hotlines are increasing.

I care — about so much.

And all that caring and all that outrage — where does it go when we are in a shelter in place order? When we are just trying to get by?

The November election cannot come soon enough. It is just too bad we will have to step over bodies to get to the ballot box.

The Daily Q: Zoom

If I were to name a puppy in recognition of the pandemic, I think Zoom would be a good choice.

I Zoom for classes, for meetings, and for family cards.

I Zoom on the treadmill. I Zoom at my desk. I Zoom in the kitchen. I Zoom in pajamas. I Zoom with a cat. I Zoom with a dog. I Zoom with a group. I Zoom alone.

Yesterday I was doing Zoom with 30+ students when Claire decided she was annoyed with Daisy. Therefore, I Zoom in a brawl. [It last ten-seconds and was just a lot of noise — and me dumping my cup of water on them, which the students thought was pretty funny.]

Zoom is so versatile!

This New Normal is all very strange and interesting and mind blowing. And from talking to students yesterday — it is filled with losses.

I Zoom a lot of virtual hugs these days.

And speaking of one I would like to hug — iPup Kidd reminding all of us to Carry On!

Thank you, Marti, for sending along that photo!

I have a nudge for today — for all of us. Get outside. From talking to students about what helps, that seems to be a big one. I commit to doing that — how about you?