The Daily Q: Helping Others & Wet Dogs

Something that helps some people during challenging times is to figure out ways to help other people — this is definitely one of the things that makes me feel better.

Lisa K shared that she is randomly calling a few people in her Contacts each day. Social distancing should not be social isolation, after all, and so she is reaching out — good job, Lisa K!

Claire and Sundance before Social Distancing went into effect.

Stacy Slade is having a benefit photo contest on Facebook. Small businesses, including dog show professionals, are struggling right now and she wants to help. Kudos to Stacy!

Find Stacy on Facebook to enter!

Claire. Photo by Galen and his drone.

And so on — people are coping and helping, and those things often go together.

Claire.

I am now teaching my classes (at the University of Montana) remotely. I already have one online course and so it is just the other two that will need to be switched up to accommodate this whole social distancing thing.

Zoey.

One of my now online courses involves teaching students how to engage in social work/counseling practice with individuals, which means the students need experience talking with real people.

Hmmmm….

How to do that when everyone is (or should be) holing up in their homes?!

My Plan: Find individuals to do Zoom sessions with my students. Zoom, in case this is new to you, is like Skype — it allows us to video chat in live time.

I want to find 18 people who can commit to 2 - 3 sessions with a student over the next 2 - 3 weeks. Sessions would last maybe 20 minutes and we would find times that work for all concerned. I will be a silent observer in all of the sessions.

The topic would be Covid-19 and how that is impacting you/your life. Nothing too personal and you would control the info you share.

If you want to try “helping others” as a way to deal with this crazy time and think you can manage Zoom, consider yourself invited to join my class to help a student learn; send me an email to accept the invitation: sontag.bowman@gmail.com.

No obligation — just an invitation.

Sparkle.

Different things work for different people, and so we are creating something of a Coping Buffet with The Daily Q. I would love to hear what is working for you, how you are doing, and/or any questions/comments you may have.

And keep up the good work! You are still 100% (A+) in managing this crazy time.

We got this!

The Daily Q: Routine

We did it again! Another successful day in this Temporarily New Normal. Let me note that we have a 100% Q rate — impressive! Let’s all keep up the good work. #team

I was talking with my dad yesterday and he observed it is like he has received a life sentence of solitary confinement (he lives in California), and so with all that free time looming ahead, nothing seems urgent or necessary. This means, he noted, that he is not getting much accomplished and he identified the need to set up a routine and get his days more organized.

I can so relate to that!

I had planned to do cleaning and organizing in my not-yet-completed kitchen over Spring Break, which ends tomorrow. Did I do it? Nope. It just did not seem urgent — I have weeks and weeks of time at home ahead, after all.

The black countertops are not staying — it was an order mix-up that is still being sorted out. But it is pretty awesome to have countertops again, even if it makes for a Goth Kitchen look.

Routine can help us stay on track, get things done, and just feel like there is order in the Universe (if not our kitchen).

This matters in so many ways.

When we are being productive, we have less time to freak out about the news or visit with Anxiety and Worry. Getting things done helps with a sense of competence, which contributes to resilience.

Those two things — reducing the time we get sucked in by Anxiety AND doing things that build/support resilience — are key ingredients to keeping our Q streak going.

We got this!

Our nudge for today — let’s all look at our daily activities and see if we can rein in the chaos with a routine.

You do not have to get all crazy with it but some order to the day might help us cope better each day AND be more productive.

And speaking of routine…

Berners with the Edge group members (and anyone else who wants to join us) — let’s focus on the routine we use to let the dog know it is time to train. Elizabethanne suggested five behaviors be included in that routine — you can read the post that describes it HERE.

Work on your time-for-training routine for one week and then post a video of your routine next Saturday on our Facebook group. FUN!

The Daily Q: Anxiety

We made it through another day — another Q for you!

Let’s talk about Anxiety today because the collective Anxiety over Covid-19 is palpable.

Many have Anxiety humming alongside in their usual lives. Sometimes she is just purring quietly in the background and letting us get on with Life. Other times, Anxiety is loud and demanding of our attention.

Like now.

People who do not live with Anxiety cannot really understand what it is like to have that constant background noise, or how challenging it can be to get anything done when Anxiety is revved up. When Anxiety is poked, she is a demanding bitch indeed.

Covid-19 jumped out from a doorway in a big, scary mask and sent the collective Anxiety into overdrive. It also created new Anxiety for people who do not typically walk through the world with her as a constant companion.

Never mind the Zombies — Welcome to the Anxiety Apocalypse.

The results are predictable.

Some are spinning off to buy every roll of toilet paper within a quarantine-allowed radius.

Others are hopping mad, fighting the restrictions or the media or the memes on Facebook.

Some people are frozen and/or disassociated, flooded by their emotions and unable to process information or figure out what to do.

Fight, flight, freeze — that is what we do when we feel threatened. What makes Anxiety especially loud and demanding in the face of this new threat is that there is so much uncertainty associated with Covid-19, and uncertainty is rocket fuel for Anxiety.

Anxiety has been unleashed, and no — it is not pleasant nor should you expect it to be narrowly focused on Covid-19. When Anxiety gets poked, she sets us off on a Worry Train about EVERYTHING.

What I have done today is (hopefully) illustrate a technique for handling Anxiety — separating the problem from the person. It is easy to make Anxiety the whole of who and what we are — but it is not. Anxiety is something that shows up — we are not Anxiety.

Thinking this way can remind us that we have control, and can help us avoid catastrophizing or engaging in all-or-nothing thinking. Further, thinking of Anxiety as something external to the essence of who and what we are can help us remember the many internal and external resources we have to deal with Anxiety.

Dogs are exempt from the social distancing guidelines — hug away!

Some ideas:

Try to avoid saying things like, “I am anxious” or “I am an anxious person” and instead observe when Anxiety shows up.

“Anxiety is visiting again,” you tell yourself.

Take a few minutes to visit with Anxiety, and offer reassurance. Involve the other parts of who and what you are — Calm, Smart, Resourceful, and Rational — to get Anxiety to simmer down.

Recognize that Anxiety is likely to be a frequent companion right now — that is normal and expected. Understand her purpose is to serve as a reminder that you are managing in uncertain times. When she taps on your shoulder, just turn around and thank her, and let her know you got this.

Because you do.

Nudge for today: Make a list.

It could be about strategies to try when Anxiety shows up, or it could be what you want to accomplish today. Lists help us stay grounded and focused, and those are good things right now.

And remember — all you need to handle is right now.